Confessions of a Beauty Queen: Monsters... A confession

I believe in monsters. Now those that follow my other blog are probably thinking 'Well DUH! You lived with one.' I am, however, not talking about those kinds of monsters. Those unfortunately are all too common in our world. I am talking about real live, hide under your bed, in your closet, hairy, scary, friends with the boogie man kind of monsters. The kind stories are written about and movies are made about. Monsters like Randell, Mike and Sulley.

Monsters like those found in the pages of Where the Wild Things Are. Monsters that keep a nightlight burning in every room of my house and keep me from letting my arms or legs hang off the edge of the bed at night. Yes I know this is silly and I'm aware that at thirty something years old I should be pass this but I'm not. I still firmly believe the Boogie man parties in the basement with the dust bunnies and whatever else is hiding down there after the lights go out and everyone heads to bed. I believe the nightmare in my closet is trying on my shoes and patiently waiting for me to forget to turn the nightlight on and step out of bed in the dark so it can lick my face and scare me to death. Finally, I know for a fact that if I don't cuddle close to my sweet hubby or if I uncurl from the fetal position allowing my brightly painted toe nails to dangle over the edge of the bed before the sun starts peeking over the horizon that the family of critters that live under my bed will pull me out of bed and make me part of their world. Since I don't look good covered in fur or hair or whatever it is that they wear I make sure not to let even my tiniest toe hang over. I know it bums the monsters out but it is the way it is going to be.

The good news is that because I know the monsters are there I know how to play the game. Because I know how to play the game I have lured all the Monsters to my end of the house, keeping my kids safe from the scary, hairy things that lurk in the corners, crevices and closets at night. Obviously I haven't quite made friends with the critters the way Max does in Where the Wild Things Are nor have they found a way to make me laugh the way Mike and Sulley do in Monsters Inc but we have come to an understanding of sorts. They are allowed free reign in the basement at night and know the rules everywhere else and as long as we all obey them no one gets eaten or turned into a monster. It all works at least until we can find a way to party together.... I mean doesn't a wild rumpus sound like fun?? Well maybe not with monsters.