Competing... A confession

OK I admit it I hate competing. Don't get me wrong I TOTALLY enjoy the process and preparation. I love the wardrobe and sparkle. I adore that it gives me an opportunity to take care of me for a bit. I LOVE the various categories of competition; Interview and the opportunity to discuss my platform, changes I'd like to see happen and be part of making and getting an opportunity to think on my feet. Gown & fitness: I love walking the stage and get a rush just before I hit that first mark.
I hate the scores. I hate having someone tell me I was only worthy of a 2 in fitness wear, that I lack grace in evening gown or that my interview outfit was the wrong color for my skin tone. I hate that on that one day at that one moment 5 or 7 to however many people get to, if I let them, put a number on my self worth.

But I endure it for 2 reasons. First, it keeps me working out. I hate exercise and I REALLY hate being forced to do it. I'm quite comfortable sitting at home reading, sewing, blogging, writing or any number of other things. I don't get up in the morning and think "man I can't wait to work out!" I don't enjoy what I call the S-es of working out... stinky, sweaty, sticky and sore. So I need a goal to keep me focused, competing gives me that.

Second, I'm all about my platform and volunteer work and a title helps further that work. If I win it is great and my titles have opened doors and helped me promote my platform in some AMAZING ways but all that said I really see the crown as optional. I'll do the work regardless, it just takes longer and I know too many people who can't afford to wait so I keep competing so I can unlock rather then pound doors down despite my love hate relationship with competing... OK scoring.
I now return you back to your regularly scheduled programing.

\^^^/ Ang